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208 – Why Are You Listening?


Why…Are You Listening?

Today’s episode is kind of geared for the single guys out there.  You guys who are attached may find it interesting as well though.  My question for today is; why do you listen to this show?  I really want to know, because it was recently suggested to me that men tune into this program because they think becoming a better man will eventually lead to them having more success in the dating / mating world.  I’m not convinced that is your only motivation, so I would like to know what your reason is for tuning in. 

I’m going to discuss this dating / mating thing in today’s episode, but first I am going to acknowledge the sponsor of today’s program;  Stumptown Kilts.

Why should you wear a kilt?  It’s a fair question.  First of all I don’t tell anyone what they should or should not do—that’s for you to decide.  Some people wear kilts because their ancestors did, and they think that’s cool.  Others might wear a kilt for the simple comfort and utility that it offers.  Still other guys might like wearing a kilt because it makes them be noticed, it makes them stand out in the crowd.

There are hundreds of reasons like this I could come up with for wearing a kilt, but they don’t all apply to everyone.  The choice to wear a kilt is a very individual thing, it takes a certain kind of man.  Here’s what I do know—if you are among the men that have ever thought owning a kilt would be a good idea, for whatever reason, then there is only one kilt you should consider.  That my friends, is a Stump Town Kilt.

I say this for many reasons; they are beautiful works of craftsmanship, they are made from the finest most durable materials, their innovative design and features set them far ahead of the competition, and the people at Stumptown Kilts actually care about your happiness and comfort.  I could go on and on, but the real proof about what I’m saying is that I own three of these myself and I plan on getting more because I don’t believe I can get a better kilt for the money, anywhere.

As a listener of this show you can get your own Stump Town Kilt at a special price, by going to and entering the purchase code:  betterman, at checkout.  Do that and you will receive 10% off your online purchase.  Everyone who has taken this advice has been thrilled, without exception.  So head over to today and check them out, and remember to enter the purchase code:  betterman.

OK…back to the question at hand;  why do you want to be a better man?  Does it all boil down to dating / mating?  There are lots of pickup artist out there right now.  You know, dating guru’s taking a lot of money from guys and promising them that if you do what they say you will have more confidence and you will be able to woo the woman of your dreams.

I think it’s fair to say that everybody would like to have someone special in their lives.  I spent a lot of time and energy myself looking for the perfect woman.  There isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s perfectly natural.  It’s a biological imperative created by our hormones for crying out loud.  It will not be denied.

However, if you want me to give you some magic formula that will suddenly make you attractive and desirable to women—I can’t help you with that.  That isn’t my job, this isn’t that kind of show. 

Those shows are out there though.  There are people who prey on the frustration that single men feel in today’s world.  They tell you how to become more successful at dating.  They share secrets and techniques that will put notches on your bedpost, and guys flock to that because they are frustrated, desperate, lonely, and searching for that person who will fill that empty spot.

I have a problem with these people that lead men down this path.  I have a problem with it because it is all built on deception and manipulation.  It isn’t genuine or authentic or honest, rather it is superficial and almost always focused on sexuality and a twisted sense of masculinity, instead of intimacy, humanity, or relationship.  They teach guys how to manipulate women by using their own logic and feminine tendencies against them.  Would you want someone using these techniques on your daughter?  I certainly would not.

So that’s why I would like to know why you tune into this program.  I personally believe that the majority of you are listening because you actually want to be a better man—for the sake of being better, to be the best you can.  I reject the idea that most of you are here for some other superficial reason.

Of course, I do understand that there are many of you who are hurting out there.  There are lots of guys who have no luck at all in the dating world these days, it seems hopeless and it sucks.  There are also lots of guys stuck in horrible relationships with the wrong person and you can’t even remember how you got there. 

So I understand the tendency to be drawn toward the easy fix.  While I understand it, I also caution you against it, because nothing worthwhile in life comes easy.

The philosophy here at Being A Better Man is completely opposite to what I have been describing.  I believe that if a man is truly focused on his own improvement, if he is committed to actually becoming a better man, the best man he can be, that all the other areas of your life will fall into place in the best way they can.  By being a better man you are also being a better employee, a better friend, a better brother, son, and partner.  How could these areas not improve if you are improving in every area of your life?

There is no guarantee that you will marry your soul-mate, but if you are being the best man you can, the chances of it are much higher.  Being a better man won’t necessarily make you wealthy or successful, but it might make you content and happy with who you are.  Which I think is even more valuable.

Being a better man will not make you handsome or irresistible.  Although it may allow your truly attractive qualities to be noticed like your sense of humor.  You might get in better shape because you are improving your fitness. 

Being a better man will do one thing for sure though.  At the end of the day you will feel good about the man you are, you will take pride in your existence and your accomplishments.  You will have an improved knowledge of who you are, and that makes life a bit more valuable.  So that’s the difference in these two very  different ways of approaching life.

I have more to say about the whole dating / mating topic.  However instead of rambling on about what I think is important, I would like to hear from you guys.

I would like you to write me a letter and tell me what your frustrations are.  I would like to hear about the challenges you face, and also…what is motivating you to want to be a better man.  Just write me an email at: and tell me whats going on.

Thanks again to our sponsor, StumpTown Kilts, and thank all of you for tuning in today.

Now head out into the world and just be a better man today than you were yesterday—for all the right reasons.

Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.



Also, please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links.





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