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192 – Fidelity…or the lack thereof


FIDELITY…or the lack thereof

As you know the launch of my book is imminent.  It will be available before the end of this month of April.  It’s called “Forging A Man” and it is a collection of stories that I have told on this very podcast, along with the lessons learned from them.  Be watching out for it, because when I launch it will have a lower introductory price for about a week before it goes up, and I want to make sure the listeners of this program are able to take advantage of that lower cost.

It will be available in both ebook and print form, but whichever one you get, I suggest you get an extra copy of the print book because it has a really cool cover, and it will make a great gift, so start thinking of who you want to give it to right now.

This is Friday, and our Friday episodes are sponsored by the great people at Stump Town Kilts so I’m going to take a minute to talk about all the reasons you should be wearing one of your very own. 

I own three of these kilts myself, and just a couple days ago I was at an event where I ran into two other guys who were also wearing kilts.  The three of us eventually would up in a conversation and we started talking about the kilts we were wearing because they each were made by a different manufacturer. 

I let both of them go first and when they were done I started showing them what makes Stumptown Kilts different.  Then I showed them the huge hidden pocket and the snap on accessories.  I opened it up and showed them how they are adjustable up to five sizes.  What really got their attention was the material itself, and the fact that they are wash and wear…you don’t have to spend time ironing pleats, you just put it on and go. 

Needless to say, they were both amazed by the innovation and design of the kilt I was wearing.  It made them feel like their kilt was a relic of the past and now they both want one.

As a listener of this show you can have one of your own at a discounted price.  Just go to, pick out the kilt you want and when you are checking out enter the purchase code: betterman, all one word, all lower case, and you will receive 10% off your online purchase.  You can’t beat that with a stick, so do it today.

OK guys, today I want to talk about fidelity.  We don’t hear that word too often in normal life.  Much more often we hear the word infidelity—which describes the absence of fidelity. 

Almost without exception, whenever someone hears the words fidelity or infidelity the first thing they think of is loyalty within a sexual relationship.  Certainly, these words apply to that and it’s a very important thing, but these words also apply to a wide range of other situations, and each one of them are critical if you are being a better man.

Fidelity doesn’t just mean loyalty.  It can also mean precision, faithfulness, accuracy, and meticulousness.  It applies to every relationship you have, not just your intimate ones.

For example I have a relationship with Stump Town Kilts that I mentioned earlier.  They are my sponsor, and in that relationship I owe them fidelity.  That’s why I tell everyone how great they are and do whatever I can to spread the word about their product.  It’s also why I would not advocate any other brand of kilt.

In another example, yesterday was my friend Dan’s birthday, so I called and talked to him for a while and told him happy birthday.  It was a simple act, but it was an act of fidelity in our friendship.

We have many different types of relationships, we have family, friend, work, business, and school relationships.  You have some degree of relationship with every human you interact with.  And every single relationship you have, comes with its own form of fidelity that is owed by you and the other person in that relationship. 

You don’t just owe fidelity to people either, you can also owe fidelity to an organization you are affiliated with or that you belong to, or the country you live in. 

All of these relationships you have come with an expectation of loyalty and faithfulness from you.  An expectation that you will perform with precision according to those expectations. In turn, they owe you fidelity.

The reason I’m talking about this is because many of us just go through life without thinking about it too much.  We are all aware of the expectations in our various relationships, and most of us intend on acting correctly.  However, if we aren’t actually thinking in terms of fidelity and the significance of it, it becomes much easier to fall short of our obligations.  That is when infidelity occurs.

I believe words have power.  And if we think and speak of our role in the relationships we have in terms of fidelity, it suddenly takes on more significance and importance.  It becomes more difficult to justify our lack of good behavior because now the word fidelity is in the way.  Fidelity is one of those words that cannot be fudged around, you are either in fidelity or infidelity.  It is for that reason that I encourage you to add that word to your regular vocabulary.  Start thinking it and speaking it and your relationships will take on a new, higher level of significance.

The reasons fidelity is important should be obvious, especially if we want to be better men.  If we want to be the best husband, boyfriend, father, son, brother, employee, or boss we can be…then our fidelity is paramount.  Our fidelity as a man is tied directly to our word, our honor, and our reputation.

Now head out into the weekend and try applying the word fidelity to every interaction you have.  As I’ve said many times before, our relationships are the most precious things we possess, and having fidelity is one of the best ways to preserve and strengthen those relationships, and it’s definitely another way to be a better man today, than we were yesterday.

Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links.





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