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186 – Blueprint Of A Man…Sharing our strength


Blueprint Of A Man…

Today I’m going to share with you a message I received earlier today and talk about that for a little bit.  But first, we need to take a moment and recognize the illustrious sponsor of today’s program; Stump Town Kilts.

This company is located in Stump Town, also known as Portland Oregon.  I have been to their facility, I have met the people behind the kilts…and let me tell you, you will not find a group of people more dedicated to the creation of top quality kilts than these people. 

Every kilt made by them has received their personal attention in every detail.  That is why I have them as a sponsor of this show, because I know they stand behind their product 100%, and I stand behind them.  I don’t just stand behind them…I stand IN them.  I own three of these kilts myself.  Really guys, here’s the formula;  Suburb craftsmanship + Innovative original design + people who take pride in their work = a Stumptown Kilt. 

So don’t wait, go to their website at and order your new kilt, today.  For listeners of this show if you enter the code:  betterman, at checkout, you will receive 10% off your online purchase. 

OK, today I got a letter on the Being A Better Man Facebook page.  I’m going to share that letter with you because it brings up an important point.

This message came from a woman, and she wrote:

Alf, Thank you so much for doing all that you do. My husband listens to your show and has begun sharing the episodes with our 12 y/o son and myself and I had to take a moment to say you enrich the lives of all that hear your voice. I grow and am able to better support the men and growing men in my life with every show. I appreciate your time and all the energy you put in to improving the lives around you. Have a great day! Aloha!

Besides the letter itself, and the compliment to me and the show, which is awesome.  I want to focus on something else, and that is this woman’s husband.  He did something extraordinary and important, he started sharing the show with her and their 12 year old son. 

I want to applaud this man, because by sharing something with his family that he thought was important and beneficial, he became a better man than he was yesterday. By sharing things like this he is perfectly executing the function of a man.  It was obviously a wise choice on his part because if it wasn’t, she would not have been compelled to write.

I’m not saying all this because it happened to be this show that he shared.  It’s great that he did, but there are many things that we as men can share with the other people in our lives, and every time we do it makes us a better man.

You have probably heard me say before many times that a man should share his strength.  What does that mean?  Well, it can mean anything from opening a jar with a stuck lid, to being calm and confident in moments of great distress.  It can mean being decisive when its necessary, or it could mean going to work every day to provide resources for the home. 

Sharing your strength means any situation where you are offering yourself, your time, your resources, your courage, or your compassion to someone who needs it.  Most often, that will be someone in your own family, but it doesn’t have to be.

The opposite of sharing is being selfish.  Lets think about that for a minute.  Is it possible for a man to be a selfish man, and still become a better man?  I say no, its not possible. 

A selfish man could become better at individual skills and activities.  He could improve his fitness and his financial situation, but if he keeps it all to himself he will never become a better man.  He might improve as a person in general, but he will not improve as a man because he is neglecting a fundamental function of manhood.  That is, to have care for the happiness and welfare of those around you.

The reason I say this, has to do with how our species developed in the first place.  10,000 years ago when people were starting out if a man didn’t share his resources with the people around him, they would all die.  If our ancient ancestors were selfish men, we wouldn’t be here at all, it was necessary for the survival of our species. 

The women of that time were busy keeping their children alive.  They didn’t have time to hunt or build shelters or defend the group from hostile forces, that was the mans job, and his sons learned from his example and so it went down through the generations.

As humans became more advanced it became less and less of a life or death issue, but sharing our strength and resources with those around us became part of the blueprint of what a man is.  It’s a foundational requirement. 

I would even go so far as to say, its one of the things that separate a man from a boy.

I challenge you to think of the greatest men you know right now.  I bet every one of them shared a significant portion of himself with the world around him.  If he hadn’t, you wouldn’t think he was a great man.

So that’s what I noticed in that message I got from Hawaii.  That woman’s husband is operating correctly, according to the blueprint drafted by his ancestors centuries ago.  Well done.

Now head out into the world and remember that part of being a man is sharing the best of yourself with others who can use it.  It makes the connections between people stronger.  It makes families more stable.  It makes our society function in the way it was designed, and it makes you a better man today, than your were yesterday.

Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links.





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