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046 – Mothers day



We naturally spend a lot of time on this show talking about men, about fathers…about male role models and all that manly stuff.  But today…it’s mothers day, and a good time I think to reflect for a moment about moms.

You know there are a few things that we all have in common.  Certain things that we can say without a doubt that we all share regardless of where you come from or what culture you were raised in or what your socio-economic level may be.  These are things that transcend religion, politics, race and creed. 

One of these things…is that every single one of us is a son to a mother.  Every one of us were carried inside a woman, during which time she provided us with every drop of sustenance we needed to grow and develop and eventually be born into the world we now inhabit, as the person we have now become.  It is accurate to state that without our mothers, we would not exists.

I know many people never got to know their natural mothers.  Some others of you had mothers that were not especially good, or kind, or helpful.  But even those of you who had the most unfortunate of mothers received a profound gift from her…the gift of life itself.

I like to believe that unfortunate mothers, bad moms are in the extreme minority though.  Most of our mothers loved us very much.  We were their boys.  Their gift to us did not end with us exiting their womb…on the contrary for many, many of us it was our mothers contribution to our lives that shaped us more than any other force on the earth…even more than our fathers. 

Where were our fathers when we needed our diapers changed several times a day?  Where were our fathers when we were hungry, when we fell down and hurt ourself?  Where were our fathers when we came home from school upset with the injustices of the world?  Most of our fathers were probably at work making a living for us, that’s where mine was.

I was really fortunate to have an amazing father, but I can tell you…if it wasn’t for my mom I would have not become the man I am today.  It was my mom that taught me how to feel, how to laugh, she taught me how to receive unconditional love and gave me a sense of value as an individual. 

As great a man as my dad is…he is the greatest man I know, and even though he was my example of manhood, he was the one I tried to model myself after…still, it was my mother who had the most profound effect on the person I became, she sculpted my personality by recognizing and cultivating my natural gifts and talents, and by loving me without limits or condition. 

My mother died in February of 2013.  We all miss her, but every day I am a witness to the legacy she left, her impact on the world, on me, my siblings, on my children and their children…her impact  remains part of the fabric that encircles us…connects us…and makes us a family.

One of the greatest things my mother did in life, in my opinion, was to love my father, she celebrated him just the way he was and that gave him the freedom and space and motivation to be the great man he is.

Look, I realize that not everyone was blessed with the kind of childhood I had, or the kind of parents I had.  I get that…it’s not a perfect world.  And these days it is even more rare because so many women have to work outside the home, children are being largely raised by grandparents or parked in daycare.  There are also many more single moms than there used to be because a lot of so called men have chosen to abandon their responsibilities.  These single moms have to be both a father and a mother, they deserve a special recognition.

On this day, regardless of our personal circumstances we should all take a moment to pause and reflect on the miracle that is motherhood.

It’s largely a thankless job.  Mothers give and give and give of themselves; their energy, their spirit, and their love…no matter how much they give, they always have more to give the next day.  As men we should be humbled and awe struck by the contributions mothers make, not only to ourselves and our children…but to our civilization as a whole.

It is for these reasons I am so baffled when I hear of men mistreating women.  When I hear about men being physically, emotionally and mentally abusive.  When I see how some men subjugate women and treat them as though they are somehow less than a man.  When women are treated as sexual objects rather than the divine vessel of potential life they are It really baffles me…I don’t get it.  Because every girl, every woman is a potential mother, and as such she is a potential world changer.  Even if a woman chooses to never have children, or can’t have children their nurturing mother nature still impacts the world around them. They should have a special place of honor…we should treat them all with respect, at least as equals…if not something higher.

If you are listening to this and you are one of the men that treats women badly…I hope this makes you question your actions.  Because men who regard women in this fashion are less than men, in my opinion…much less.  I have no patience or tolerance for men who treat women badly.  I take it kind of personal…as if they are treating my own mother like this.  In my experience men like this are little more than selfish, narcissistic cowards.  They represent the worst of what it is to be a male human.

Probably not too many of these men are listening to this program.  The men who listen to this podcast, men like you are concerned with being better men, and I am glad you are there, listening.  You are one of the good guys.

I would encourage you, as a good man, to also not tolerate the mistreatment of women.  Be vocal about it when you see it happen.  We all have a sphere of influence that we can have an impact in just by standing up for the things that are right.  I encourage you to do so in your personal sphere of influence…stand up for women, children, anyone who is being mistreated.  If we are not part of the solution, then we are part of the problem.

I would also suggest that you take some time today to make a personal acknowledgement to the mothers you know…not just your mother, but all the mothers you are aware of.  Just let them know how much they are valued and appreciated.

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