213 – The Great Race…Of Life

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The Great Race…Of Life

There are about 7.4 billion people on the earth.  Roughly half of them are not female, so that means there are around 3.7 billion male humans inhabiting the planet.  Notice, I did not say there were 3.7 billion men—because of those 3.7 billion male humans many of them are children.  Many of them who are not still technically children are boys who simply grew up, without ever becoming a man, at least by my estimation.  So, the number of actual bonafide men on the earth is hard to figure, in fact it would be impossible.

The thing about all of these men though, is that they are all a bit different.  We all have different abilities and talents and experience.  We all have our own set of problems and challenges as well.

What might be real easy for one man, may be extraordinarily difficult for another.  What works for one man, may simply not work for another man.  We are all very individual in that way.  It’s one of the things I find fascinating about our species.  The same thing doesn’t really apply to cows for example.  What works for one cow is likely to work for all the rest of them.  There is much less diversity of being, in other species.

The reason I’m talking about this is because I was reminded by a listener that not everyone is like me.  As host of this show I talk about things from a perspective born of my individual experience.  I have a certain way of doing things, a certain way of thinking, like everyone else does. 

I realized that sometimes I might make it seem too simple.  I tell you things like “focus on the things you want to change and make them a priority”.  That works great for me and other guys, but there might be guys who can’t even get to the ‘focus’ part, because their life is so upside down for whatever reason they are unable to focus on anything except surviving.

I speak about making a decision to be a better man.  I talk about looking in the mirror and identifying your shortcomings so that you can correct them. Sometimes I tell you to go through your days looking for opportunities to be better than you were yesterday.  Often, I tell you that your relationships are the most valuable things you have…but heck, there may be some guys that don’t have any relationships to speak of at all.

It’s one thing to say all this stuff, but it’s another thing entirely to put it into action.  There are guys suffering from depression and PTSD, or poverty, some kind of disease, or relationship issues.  Maybe you are addicted to drugs or pornography or sugar.  Maybe your house got burnt down or a close family member got hit by a train, or whatever. 

There are a million different things that can and do make life harder for some people than it is for others.  These things are not excuses, I’m not talking about excuses here, I’m talking about the facts that exist in individual lives.

Here’s the deal, here is what I want to acknowledge.  Every single man out there has a different starting point, that’s just how it is.  In the great race of life some of us get to start on the starting line while other guys have to start a few yards behind us, and some other guys start the race way back there.  Then there are those other few guys that get to start several yards in front of everyone else.  Yet, we are all in the same exact race when you look at the big picture, and our starting point isn’t something we can choose.  We can choose how we run the race though.

That is one reason I tell guys to never compare yourself to other men, because it isn’t accurate.  Don’t compare yourself to me either because you aren’t me.  The only person you can compare yourself to and be 100% accurate, is yourself…the man you were yesterday.

I never want anyone to feel discouraged because I make this sound too simple or too easy.  What I want you to know is that wherever you are starting from, the basic principles still apply.  Regardless of what problems and challenges you might have in front of you, if you are able to wake up in the morning then you are able to also make some movement in a positive direction, however small it may seem. 

That’s all it takes, that small positive movement whatever it is, is enough to make you a better man than you were yesterday.  That’s all you need to concern yourself with; who you were yesterday and now, who you are today.  As long as you are moving in a positive direction, you are doing fantastic!  That could mean very different things for different guys, doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you are a better man than you were.

If you ever hear me say something that doesn’t apply to you, or you feel like I’m just putting words together without considering how hard life might be for you, I invite you to write me a letter at:  alf@beingbetter.men and tell me about it.  Chances are though, if you feel like that, you might be comparing yourself to someone other than you.

I would encourage you to translate everything I say into your own circumstances and situation.  The bottom line is just try to be better than you were yesterday right?  So lets say someone is listening who suffers from depression or PTSD or something like that for example.  It’s getting in the way of his ability to improve areas of his life. 

OK, maybe all you can do is research programs that can help you, you can make some phone calls.  You can look into therapy and support groups.  If you can’t afford that, you can get on the internet and learn everything you can about the condition that afflicts you.  If you don’t have access to the internet, go to the library and read about it.  If none of that is successful, then do it all again the next day.  Keep going until you find something or some one that can help.

Any of these activities would be positive forward movement, compared to doing nothing.  You will have succeeded in focusing on this thing that stands in your way.  You would have become a better man than you were the day before as a result.  That’s what I’m talking about.  Even if you go to bed in the same situation, at least you go to bed knowing you are a better man for the efforts you made.

If any of us have an obstacle in front of us that is keeping us from improving and being a better man, then that is the first thing we have to focus on and eliminate.  Sometimes it might seem impossible when you start out, but other people have done it.  It’s likely that people have done it from farther back in the race than you—and that proves that it is possible.

Now head out into the world and remember the only person to compare yourself to, is you.  Remember that where you start the race does not determine how you finish.  It’s what you do with each moment you are living in that determines that.  So do something.  If you have an obstacle deal with that first, but do it.  Be a better man today than you were yesterday, and then keep doing that every day.

Oh, before I go I wanted to thank the guys that got my book after my reminder two episodes ago.  I really appreciate it and I want you to know that I noticed.  If you have not gotten it yet, it is available below, and also on Amazon.

Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.

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