210 – When Your’e All Alone, Impress Yourself!

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When Your’e All Alone…Impress Yourself!

I would like to take just a minute and acknowledge all of you listeners out there that have been with me for a long time.  I just got a letter from a guy named Jorge in Mexico, and he said he has been listening since June of last year!  That is an entire year.  It just made me think about all of you out there who have stuck with me—some of you from the very beginning.  It really means a lot to me, it’s quite humbling.  I have gotten to know some of you through your letters and our correspondence and I have to say, that I am better for it.  So thank you.

At the same time I want to welcome the new listeners and I invite you to go back and start at the beginning…get all caught up.  I invite all of you new or otherwise to drop me a line, just write me an email.  You can tell me how long you have been here, what you get out of it, you can ask questions or give me some ideas for new shows.  You can even disagree with me.  My email address is:  alf@beingbetter.men.  No one opens that email but me, and it is also me that will be writing you back.

Today what I am going to talk about is a very simple principle.  It’s simple, but I believe it is also integral to being a better man.  In other words, I think it would be difficult if not impossible to ever be a better man without it.

I’ve talked about this before on many occasions.  It comes up a lot even when I talk about other topics.  I don’t think I have ever talked about this exclusively though. 

What I’m referring to is the basic, simple idea of doing the right thing even when you are all alone.  Like I said it’s a very simple concept.  So simple that it can be easy to forget about as well. 

When we know that other people can see what we do and hear what we say, I think most of us are naturally on our best behavior.  Especially if there is someone there to impress.  However, when people are all alone and no one is watching…many people will behave in another way. 

To act differently, by a different standard of behavior when you are alone is a very natural thing to do.  I’m not judging anyone for it because I’ve done that myself, we all have.  It is a very common thing to do but we, men who have decided to be better men, are no longer common men. 

To have your behavior, thoughts, actions, and speech be consistent wether you are alone or around any group of people is a very powerful, liberating thing.  It’s liberating because you are being yourself all the time.  You don’t have to think about it.  Obviously, if you act differently around different groups of people or when you are alone, then there are times when you are not being yourself.

I’m not just talking about big things either,  In fact it’s the small things that really count in my opinion.  It takes more initiative to do a small inconsequential thing than it does a big important thing.  For example, let’s say you are walking in the woods or a park and you see a gum wrapper on the ground.  Nobody is around and you are all alone.  If you choose not to pick up that gum wrapper there are virtually no consequences.  No one will know that you didn’t pick it up.  You will know though. 

It’s a small thing, just a gum wrapper.  However, if you bend down and pick it up you will have the knowledge that you have done a good thing simply for the sake of it, with no expectation of reward or praise.  Multiply that by hundreds of tiny things over the course of a year and it really starts to add up. 

That’s just one example, but every time you do something that you perceive is good when you are alone, I believe it is building character, it’s establishing a pattern, it’s making you a better man.  Instead of spending energy impressing others, you are impressing yourself.  What a concept!

I know many of you out there practice this already.  Some of you maybe less so, and to some of you this might be a brand new idea.  I encourage all of you to practice it throughout the week.  The hardest part about doing this is just remembering to in my opinion.  Especially when there are no immediate consequences or rewards.  It’s so easy to not even think about it, because you are alone.  The key to remembering, like the key to everything else, is to make it a priority.

The way we make it a priority is by thinking about it and focusing on it.  The things we focus on expand—the things we focus on become a priority.

Now head out into the world and focus on being the best you can be wether you are with other people or all by yourself.  The next time you find yourself alone, do something to impress yourself, and be a better man than you were yesterday.

Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.

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