The Miracle Of Motherhood…
I have a lot of things I could discuss that relate to being a better man—there are many relevant topics begging to be discussed. However, today I’m having a hard time tapping into those topics because all that is on my mind is the magic of motherhood.
This episode is being released the day after Mothers day here in America, but I’m actually recording it the day before—on mothers day. I just got home from having an intimate celebration with my Dad, sister and brother. We went to a local restaurant and spent some time together and we all toasted my mother, who has been gone since January of 2013.
Look, as men I think it’s important for us to occasionally set some time aside and acknowledge the things we are unable to do as men. One of the things we cannot do is be a mother. We cannot be mothers. No matter how hard we try and no matter how in touch we are with our feminine side…we can never be a mother. We can’t do that.
I personally think that mother’s are equally responsible for the development of boys turning into men as fathers are. I can tell you that if it wasn’t for my mom, I would not be the person I am today. My dad was an exemplary example of manhood. He showed me what being a man meant, what it was all about, and how to do it. My mom though—she taught me how to be a human being. She taught me how to feel. She taught me how to laugh and cry and she connected me with many other parts of my humanity that frankly, I think my dad would have had a hard time doing. Not because he was inept in any way, but just because he was busy being a man.
Think about it; in a normal situation all of us are with our mothers primarily for the first 10 years or so of our life. After that other influences start to take hold, but those first few years are critical, it’s when the foundation is laid. They are very impressionable years and mothers play an enormous role in shaping the people we eventually become.
I spent several years as a single parent, I was privileged to have two daughters and a son. I believe I was a good dad, but I was probably a horrible mother. Even though I tried very hard to be nurturing and kind and motherly at times, because that’s what you have to do when you are a single parent—I know I was probably woefully inadequate when it came down to it. Try as I might, I could not be a mother.
Thankfully, my mom stepped in and was not only a grand mother to my children, but she also filled a large mother role as well, when I could not. My children all turned into great people and great parents of their own children, but I can’t take all the credit for that. In fact, most of the credit probably goes to my mom. The same woman that shaped me into who I am, shaped my children into who they are. I was there as an example, and I still am, but my mother taught them things that I would have never been able to.
Sadly, mothers are often taken for granted. Their love and devotion to us is so complete that we come to expect it, to feel entitled to it. We know it’s always going to be there no matter what we do or say or how bad we screw up—our moms are always going to love us.
It’s real easy to take our moms for granted right up until the moment that they are no longer here. Suddenly, there comes a point in life when you find yourself without a mother, that is the way of things.
No matter how tough or awesome or successful you are in life, when your mom dies, a piece of you goes with her. The little boy inside you panics and you feel lost, like a ship adrift on the ocean with no reference of were you are. That one constant source of security you have known since you were born, is gone.
I’m talking about this today because I think it’s important, that we all acknowledge our mother’s, and all the other mothers we know. The mothers of the world do more for the advancement of our species than any other force on earth. Each one of us, regardless of your circumstance owes your life to your mother. Even if you happen to have a crappy mother, you still owe her your life, and that isn’t a small thing.
In short, what I’m trying to get across is that motherhood itself is a miracle. It is a magical, spiritual, biological, emotional phenomenon that we as men will never be able to grasp entirely…but we can acknowledge it. We can admit that it’s something we will never be able to do or be. It is something to be celebrated because without motherhood, civilization would not exists. Motherhood makes everything else possible.
It’s great that we have Mother’s day once a year. However, if you really want to be a better man, then every day you should remember to honor the mothers in your life. Not just your own mom but the mother of your children, your grand mother, all the mothers you know deserve your continuing recognition.
It’s easy to be a great son on Mother’s Day. It’s even a more special thing to do something special for the moms in your life at random times throughout the year. Let them know how special they are and how much you appreciate them for no particular reason at all…other than that’s how you feel.
Everybody dies eventually. Don’t wait until the mother’s in your life are dead to realize how much they matter. My mom knew how I felt about her, and that made it much easier to deal with her passing. I didn’t leave things unsaid. Seize every chance you can to celebrate the motherhood you witness in life. Acknowledge it and honor it for the miracle it is. Be grateful for it, because without mothers, we wouldn’t have an opportunity to be a better man today than we were yesterday.
Go out and hug a mom right now.