Swearing, is it Manly?
Welcome to Being A Better Man. I would like to also welcome all of you first time listeners to the show, I’m really glad you found me. For your convenience all 190 episodes are archived here at the website. They in the dropdown tab under podcast episodes.
I also want to update everyone on the book that is coming out. Its called Forging a man —a collection of true tales and the lessons wrought from them, and It is in the final editorial process right now. Once that is done I will be pulling the trigger, launching the book, and it will be available for you to purchase this month.
I will of course announce when it is available, but I want you to be ready for it. The success or failure of a book nowadays depends a lot on what happens in the first 30 days so it’s important that if you intend to get a copy, to get it quickly when it is published, and then leave an honest review on Amazon, thats very important as well. Don’t forget that this book will also make a great gift so you do not have to limit yourself to just one.
What I would like to talk about today is swearing. Where does swearing fit on the spectrum of manly behavior? It really depends on who you ask doesn’t it?
If you ask a devoutly religious person for example, they would tell you that swearing is wrong, period. As you walk down the street and ask everyone else you run into this question, you would probably get an entire range of answers. Some of the answers would probably even include swear words. So it seems like there is not one definitive answer to this question.
Nor is it my job to tell you its either good or bad right or wrong. I personally think questions like this are up to each individual to answer for themselves, with their own brain. I think each man should determine what is and is not acceptable behavior, and then abide by that decision because you decided it was right, and not because someone else told you it was.
To make this type of decision all a person really needs is information—and that I can help you with. My job is to give you information and also to share my thoughts and experience with you from a perspective of manhood, so that you are better able to make these types of decisions for yourself. My job is to inspire you to think about these things.
I’ll do that by telling you what I think, and why, and wether you agree with me or not you will be in a better position to make your own decision. You will have more information.
I’ll start out by saying that I do not think swearing is manly. In other words, the use of swear words do not make a man appear more like a man in my opinion.
You may have noticed that I don’t use swear words on this show, there is a specific reason for that. It’s the same reason I didn’t swear in front of my children when they were little. As a father I was an example, as host of this podcast I am also an example.
When we are acting in the capacity of an example we have to be careful, because anything we do or say will be interpreted as condoned, acceptable behavior. In other words, if I were to swear frequently on this show it would be the same as me telling all of you that I think you should swear a lot. I have made a decision for myself that it would irresponsible of me to send that message.
I personally don’t have any problems with swear words, they do not offend me. Depending on how and where they are used they can be very descriptive and dramatic, they can even be funny. However, I realize that some people are very offended by swear words. Therefore, as a man in public, having care for the happiness and well being of everyone around me, I choose not to use potentially offensive swear words. That is the decision I made for myself.
Do I swear? Yes, sometimes I do. Mostly when I am by myself and something dramatic or painful happens. Or when I am in the company of people I know extremely well, and I don’t have to be concerned about offending them. In these cases swear words can make certain points, or punchlines, that would be difficult otherwise, if they are used correctly.
Swear words are still words after all, and words mean things. I do not advocate swearing for the sake of swearing, just to be edgy. That is something we did around 7th grade as we were trying on our adult personas.
Many swear words are very over-used. Whenever any word is used too much its meaning and impact become diluted. Many swear words are adjectives, but when they are used as an adjective for everything, it can make the person speaking appear like they are not very bright in my opinion, as though they have a very limited vocabulary. There are lots of great adjectives in the world that would make speech more precise and accurate, if they were used instead.
I’ve noticed people tend to swear more when they are drinking. This in my opinion is not honest behavior on their part, because if you have made a decision when you are sober not to swear for some reason, then being drunk does not overturn that decision. It would still be wrong according to your decision. You are merely using alcohol as an excuse, and excuses are something I do consider to be un-manly.
Something else to consider is that what is a swear word to one person, may not be a swear word to another person. For example I do occasionally say damn, or hell and some people might consider those swear words, while I do not. In some household the word fart is a swear word. Swearing is an important component is some cultures, and they are very proud of it, and in other cultures it is severely frowned upon.
Obviously, the use of swear words really does depend on who you are, what you are doing, and where you are. There really isn’t one answer to this question. I have listeners from all over the world and it will be a little different for everyone.
There is something that is the same though, no matter where you are. If you are a man, then you have an obligation to decide for yourself what is acceptable behavior, and then be true to your decision. As a man you are going to be an example for someone as well, and it’s up to you to decide what messages you want to give the people you are an example for.
Its a pretty simple formula really. It boils down to two sentences: 1. Make a decision, and then stick by it no matter what. 2. Remember someone is always watching you, and you have a responsibility to be a good example.
If you keep these two sentences in mind and aspire to accomplish them you will definitely be a better man than you were yesterday, no matter where you are.
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