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Feeding a new lamb
Being better can be complex...
I have learned that being a better man is much more complex than just deciding one day to be a better man…much more.
It’s kind of like deciding to lose weight. If you tell your self on January 1st that you are going to lose 20 pounds and then the next day resume your normal life, nothing will happen. You have to think about this decision and the goal you made every day…throughout the day, then you have to actually take action on your thoughts and use them to modify your actions, decisions, and lifestyle to achieve the goal you set on January 1st. It is the same with being a better man.
Being a better man is a bit more abstract, and less quantifiable than losing weight though. There is no “man scale” we can stand on to check our progress. People will not look at us and say “ooohhh…you’re becoming a better man aren’t you?” No, that’s not going to happen. So then, how do we measure our progress and keep moving forward?
First, just like with losing weight, you have to think about being a better man. You have to think about it all day, every day, it is the purpose of the podcast and blog to help with that. We need to program our minds to be constantly on the lookout for opportunities to be better men, after you do it consciously for awhile it will become more natural, but in the beginning it takes effort.
Then, when you identify an opportunity as a result of all this thinking you are doing, the next step is to take action. It sounds simple but this is where a lot of people blow it. They see an opportunity, and immediately their brain starts telling them about all the reasons they should not seize it.
We need to over ride that impulse…we need to seize every opportunity to be better men immediately. Every time you do, it makes the next time easier and more natural.
That’s all great and easy to understand in your head, but how do you apply what I am saying to your daily life and give it value?
Here is what I do; I get up every morning and get ready to live, to engage in whatever activity I have planned for the day whether it’s going to work, visiting friends, or staying at home to work on the farm. Part of me getting ready to live is looking in the mirror, when I do that, I look into my eyes and tell myself that I’m going to be a better man today than I was yesterday.
Then, throughout the day I remind myself, probably at least once an hour, I say it either out loud or in my own head, just a little reminder. It is amazing, how many opportunities magically appear in front of you when you have put yourself in the proper frame of mind to recognize them.
Then comes the hard part, actually seizing all of these opportunities, actually doing whatever that thing is that showed up that can make you a better man today.
I’ll be honest with you; I don’t seize them all, not yet. I’m on this journey same as you and I am still getting used to stopping, and making the effort every time. However, I do seize the opportunity most of the time, I’m getting better at it.
The good news...
Remember earlier I said that there is no scale where you can weigh your manly improvement and that people won’t comment about it in the same way as they would if you had lost weight? Well, actually…that’s not entirely true. The truth is that there is a scale, and the scale is you. You can measure your actions today against your actions yesterday and make note of your improvement.
Likewise, while people may not notice and comment immediately, eventually they will. If you spend the next year thinking every day about being a better man, and taking action on the opportunities to do so…then you will become one, and people will notice. Don’t worry about that though, the most important thing is that YOU notice, everything else will fall into place then.